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My BF and I have been dating for 3 years now. Coming from a religious and traditional family, my family initially did not like him as he did not go down the traditional Singaporean kid route – he did his own business, went on to work overseas for a few years (now he’s back indefinitely cos of covid)and isn’t in the same line of work as me. When we were doing LDR, we kept in constant contact. We have come a long way since we met. The days that he was overseas, it was really really tough for me but Im glad I survived that through weekly Skype and phone calls. I feel we are very compatible in all areas, and we are thinking about marriage. We have mostly worked and talked through most issues successfully, but 1 big mountain stands in the way – religion. Religion wise, I have accepted him as he is and do not expect him to convert, but Im not sure if my parents will. They still try to convert him, and although he is civil when he is with them, he says that it makes him very unhappy as he feels unaccepted. He needs their acceptance before marriage, of which I have promised a talk with my parents but they are also very strong headed people. I cannot bear the thought of losing him. He says he does not want to cause a conflict between me and them, but there is already disgruntledness now at the thought that I may lose him because of them. I am even willing to distance myself from my family if it causes him so much unhappiness (ie cut down on the time he needs to spend with them) but he needs 200% acceptance from them. Not willing as well to believe that acceptance is a gradual thing and hopefully eventually they will. What are your thoughts? I want to be a filial child but on the other hand I cannot lose him. I know that if I do, I will really distant myself from them. Is there a compromise? Am I being fair to him to continue this relationship or this does not sound like a relationship that should go on?

Author: lovedoctor

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